That noise you just heard? Yeah, that was my head exploding. I love being sick. It's my favourite thing to be besides, well...not sick. I've been a little pathetic the last few days. My nose is running, my eyes are watering, my ears are popping and my sinuses are building little concrete walls I think.
So, a few weeks ago, on a certain social networking site, I had a guy message me. People tend to use this site as more of a dating service than anything else it seems. He asked how I was and if I was single. I went and looked at his profile and was completely turned off my his lack of punctuation, spelling, sentence structure, etc. Is this wrong of me? I don't even want to message this guy back because of the way he types. But I also don't like ignoring people, so I message him back saying that I'm fine, yes, I'm single but that I'm not looking for a relationship from this website. Eventually he stops talking.
3 days ago he messages me again. It goes a little something like this:
Him: how are you doing today
Me: Not too bad, thanks.
Him: not to bad so are you single
Me: Um, yes...but I'm not looking for anything.
Him: that is gud (really??) so where do you live me i live in ____
Me: I'm in Canada...we talked before.
Him: yep so what type of guy are u looking for
Me: I'm not. I'm not looking for a relationship from here.
Him: i know that jest want to no
I haven't answered him back. If you can't, or won't listen to what I'm saying, there's no point.
A couple more that I've gotten:
'Hey, I like making new and sweet friends.' It's not a *bad* message, it just...it's weird.
This is a very first message sent by someone:
'Hi angel how wonderful your look You 'er very beautiful in your profile picture. I wonder how you look physically. Dear can we be soul mate I want to know everything about you and i think i can no longer do any other thing without thinking of you. Ever since i saw your profile you have remained in my thoughts my heart has found in you i look forward to getting a beautiful and lovely reply from u'
Woah. You wonder how I can look physically? Well my picture is just staring you right in the face. He has no idea who I am but he can no longer do any other thing without thinking of me!!! I feel so blessed. And creeped out. He wanted a beautiful and lovely reply from me. Instead he got silence. Guys, get a clue. Girls don't want to see this from a stranger. It doesn't flatter us. It makes us go 'what the hell is this guy on?' Also, I understand that people can't always be the worlds best typist. I know people who I can have perfectly good conversations with in person or on the phone, yet online it's like trying to decipher the damn Da Vinci Code. I can overlook some typo's and mistakes, but come on, it's not that hard to know where to put a period or question mark. Put some effort into it!!
Alright, my eyes feel like they're trying to fall out of my head, so I'm done for today. I have another one to show you guys, but it's kind of long, so he gets one all to himself tomorrow. Or whenever I get back on here.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Double digits!
My boy turned 10 today. He's been through a lot in those 10 years. Some good, some bad, but we've always made it through.
I remember when I was in the hospital in labour, and my room was FULL of people. His Father, his Grandmother, my Mother and Grandmother, my Dad at one point, a friend here and there and 3 of my 4 midwives. My hospital room was like a circus car. And I'm laying mostly naked on a bed, in a whole hell of a lot of pain and couldn't have cared less who was there.
My baby boy was about to be born.
Once all of the spectacular childbirth stuff was over, I'll never forget the first comment made by one of the midwives. 'Look how big his mouth is!'
Then I heard his first cry, and all the pain was forgotten in an instant. He was placed on my chest and when I first looked into those huge, blue eyes...there are no words to describe what it's like to look into your child's eyes for the first time.
It still seems like yesterday that he was drooling incessantly all over everything. I remember all the firsts...his first steps, his first day of school and, of course, the first time he got stitches. His first award, his first lost tooth and his first heartbreak. He has a lot of 'firsts' to get through and I hope I can help him make it through them.
My sweet, snuggly baby boy is fast becoming the man he will be. The childhood toys have been left behind now. On to bigger and better things, he is never one to slow down. He will race towards adulthood with frightening speed. So, for now...I'll take all the hugs, cuddles, and after-bath snuggles I can get, while he's still willing to give them.
I remember when I was in the hospital in labour, and my room was FULL of people. His Father, his Grandmother, my Mother and Grandmother, my Dad at one point, a friend here and there and 3 of my 4 midwives. My hospital room was like a circus car. And I'm laying mostly naked on a bed, in a whole hell of a lot of pain and couldn't have cared less who was there.
My baby boy was about to be born.
Once all of the spectacular childbirth stuff was over, I'll never forget the first comment made by one of the midwives. 'Look how big his mouth is!'
Then I heard his first cry, and all the pain was forgotten in an instant. He was placed on my chest and when I first looked into those huge, blue eyes...there are no words to describe what it's like to look into your child's eyes for the first time.
It still seems like yesterday that he was drooling incessantly all over everything. I remember all the firsts...his first steps, his first day of school and, of course, the first time he got stitches. His first award, his first lost tooth and his first heartbreak. He has a lot of 'firsts' to get through and I hope I can help him make it through them.
My sweet, snuggly baby boy is fast becoming the man he will be. The childhood toys have been left behind now. On to bigger and better things, he is never one to slow down. He will race towards adulthood with frightening speed. So, for now...I'll take all the hugs, cuddles, and after-bath snuggles I can get, while he's still willing to give them.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Whew, glad that's over!
Ok, so I don't feel like talking about 'Charlie' today. I'm in a good mood and I'll just get all pissy if I start thinking about that.
I know I said 'tomorrow' but last week turned into 'omg Hallowe'en is in less than a week and I have a shit ton to do'.
The Hallowe'en party wasgreat crazy.. We were led to hysterics most of the night by one of the girl's friends, who is quite possibly the funniest kid on the planet. There is even a picture of me laughing so hard, I look like a horse. No, you can't see it. It's a little frightening. Then there was the kid who kept launching himself onto people like it was the UFC championships. He already had a cast on his arm. I wonder why. Maybe because he's freakishly hyper and can't seem to stop running, screaming, or crashing into things people. One of the games we did was big kids vs little kids in wrapping someone in toilet paper. Oh, big mistake. In case you were ever thinking about playing this game, don't. The result will be finding bits of toilet paper in random areas of your house for months. I know it's only been 4 days but I'm still finding some and expect to for quite some time.
But...all the kids seem to have had fun, and a huge Thank you to the Witchdoctor and her family for helping out with the party and even better, helping me to clean up afterwards.
Took the kids out trick or treating on Sunday. The girl was a cat, the boy was Jason. Some of the girls friends came with us including a homeless person in a shopping cart. They decorated the cart with glowsticks, and every house my daughter went to, she took 2 bags and said 'This is for the guy in the shopping cart'. We ditched them.
I just found more toilet paper sticking out from under my monitor.
Some exciting news...the boy is going to be taking Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. He goes for his one on one orientation tonight and is so excited that he dropped to the floor with his hands over his mouth when I told him. When he gets his yellow belt, he can take weapons class. Great idea, let's teach the 9 year old how to use nunchuks.
It keeps telling me that 'nunchuks' is not a word. I googled it, I win. Also, in case you were wondering, 'googled' is not a word either.
Some messages from today:
'so what you up to do you want company' Tempting, but...no. No capitals, no punctuation. At all. Go back to school.
'hi how are you today what you doing' Go catch the bus with the first guy.
Ok, that's really about it. That was sort of a lame game, I'm sorry. Although the first guy did then proceed to ask if I wanted company. Sure stranger! Come on down! What's that? You have to stop at the gun store first? That's ok, I need some time to lock up the valuables anyway. Why do guys think that girls are going to invite random strangers into their home? Do people really do this? And if you do, STOP IT! No, chances are they are *not* some psycho/rapist/killer/ but really, do you want to take the chance that they are?
I know I said 'tomorrow' but last week turned into 'omg Hallowe'en is in less than a week and I have a shit ton to do'.
The Hallowe'en party was
But...all the kids seem to have had fun, and a huge Thank you to the Witchdoctor and her family for helping out with the party and even better, helping me to clean up afterwards.
Took the kids out trick or treating on Sunday. The girl was a cat, the boy was Jason. Some of the girls friends came with us including a homeless person in a shopping cart. They decorated the cart with glowsticks, and every house my daughter went to, she took 2 bags and said 'This is for the guy in the shopping cart'. We ditched them.
I just found more toilet paper sticking out from under my monitor.
Some exciting news...the boy is going to be taking Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. He goes for his one on one orientation tonight and is so excited that he dropped to the floor with his hands over his mouth when I told him. When he gets his yellow belt, he can take weapons class. Great idea, let's teach the 9 year old how to use nunchuks.
It keeps telling me that 'nunchuks' is not a word. I googled it, I win. Also, in case you were wondering, 'googled' is not a word either.
Some messages from today:
'so what you up to do you want company' Tempting, but...no. No capitals, no punctuation. At all. Go back to school.
'hi how are you today what you doing' Go catch the bus with the first guy.
Ok, that's really about it. That was sort of a lame game, I'm sorry. Although the first guy did then proceed to ask if I wanted company. Sure stranger! Come on down! What's that? You have to stop at the gun store first? That's ok, I need some time to lock up the valuables anyway. Why do guys think that girls are going to invite random strangers into their home? Do people really do this? And if you do, STOP IT! No, chances are they are *not* some psycho/rapist/killer/ but really, do you want to take the chance that they are?
Monday, October 25, 2010
The invisible sentence that must be on my forehead.
I think it says something along the lines of 'Hey losers! I'm single, pick me!' Ok, so my forehead isn't that big, but still. There has to be some sort of sign on my back, or SOMETHING.
Those that know me, know I haven't exactly had the best of luck in the relationship department. Why, you might ask? I have no fucking idea. I think I'm a nice person. I don't think I look like a hag. I'm a gamer and I like movies besides chick flicks. I mow the lawn when forced to, have learned how to BBQ without setting anything on fire, am smart and don't act like I'm 14. I don't play head games, I try to help people when I have the means to, and I don't like the way most women think.
My first 2 relationships resulted in 2 kids. My 3rd relationship resulted in marriage, which then resulted in divorce. Then I met D, online, through a mutual friend. We hit it off immediately, and spent the next few weeks talking every spare moment we had, before we met. We dated for about 6 months or so before that was over. Probably the best 6 months I ever had with someone. Ok, so fine. Then I met a seemingly nice guy, who after a couple of months tried to get my best friend into bed with him. Ok, so that's done.
I had joined some of those singles sites online. The people on there astounded me. I found myself wondering where the real people had gone. Most of these people could not even form one single complete sentence. I found myself getting messages that went along the lines of, 'how r u' Ok, first of all, punctuation please. Secondly, am I not worth the 5 seconds it takes to actually type out 'are you'? Do you really have to shorten that? It drives me insane when people type like that, and that may be my one stuck up move, is that when people message me, and have used those short forms, I don't even answer them anymore. Or I do, and shorten *everything* so much, they have no idea what I'm saying....and then they think I'm the messed up one. I had one, who after every message would say 'get back'. Like 'Hey, how's it going? Get back'.
What? Are you being literal? Should I step away from you? Oh, you mean 'Get back to you'. I'm sorry, I left the 80's behind me 20 years ago. I honestly should have kept a text file of all the fucked up messages I got, up to and including 'How big are your boobs?' to detailed information on what they like in bed. In their first message to me. You wonder why you can't get girls? So, most times I can just laugh it off, ignore it, or message back being an ass. But then....I get *this* little tidbit:
'If u cried I suck ur tears & keep them in my soul ....... ' followed shortly after by this:
'And if u were a tear in my little eyes i never try to cry as i would be fear to lose my Heaven. But if u cried i suck ur tears and keep them in my soul till i am alive'
Ok, what? First of all, stop sucking my tears. They're mine and you can't have them. Secondly, apparently I am Heaven, so screw all of you. I win. Lastly... Does this mean you are dead without my tears? If so, you have more serious problems than your punctuation, spelling, sentence structure, etc. I don't plan on letting you ever suck my tears, so you'll just have to stay dead.
The rest of this message included a 3 paragraph poem that I couldn't quite decipher, and then a joke at the end about maternity hospitals for men and someone's brother being pregnant. I read it 4 times and I still don't understand it. But! He ended it with 'hahahahaha' so it must have been hilarious. Must. Have. Been.
What the hell is wrong with people? I've never spoken to you before, tear sucker.
Ok, I rambled on enough for this one. Tomorrow, I will introduce you to the batshit crazy ex boyfriend. We'll call him...Charlie. Ok, so that's his real name but whatever.
Those that know me, know I haven't exactly had the best of luck in the relationship department. Why, you might ask? I have no fucking idea. I think I'm a nice person. I don't think I look like a hag. I'm a gamer and I like movies besides chick flicks. I mow the lawn when forced to, have learned how to BBQ without setting anything on fire, am smart and don't act like I'm 14. I don't play head games, I try to help people when I have the means to, and I don't like the way most women think.
My first 2 relationships resulted in 2 kids. My 3rd relationship resulted in marriage, which then resulted in divorce. Then I met D, online, through a mutual friend. We hit it off immediately, and spent the next few weeks talking every spare moment we had, before we met. We dated for about 6 months or so before that was over. Probably the best 6 months I ever had with someone. Ok, so fine. Then I met a seemingly nice guy, who after a couple of months tried to get my best friend into bed with him. Ok, so that's done.
I had joined some of those singles sites online. The people on there astounded me. I found myself wondering where the real people had gone. Most of these people could not even form one single complete sentence. I found myself getting messages that went along the lines of, 'how r u' Ok, first of all, punctuation please. Secondly, am I not worth the 5 seconds it takes to actually type out 'are you'? Do you really have to shorten that? It drives me insane when people type like that, and that may be my one stuck up move, is that when people message me, and have used those short forms, I don't even answer them anymore. Or I do, and shorten *everything* so much, they have no idea what I'm saying....and then they think I'm the messed up one. I had one, who after every message would say 'get back'. Like 'Hey, how's it going? Get back'.
What? Are you being literal? Should I step away from you? Oh, you mean 'Get back to you'. I'm sorry, I left the 80's behind me 20 years ago. I honestly should have kept a text file of all the fucked up messages I got, up to and including 'How big are your boobs?' to detailed information on what they like in bed. In their first message to me. You wonder why you can't get girls? So, most times I can just laugh it off, ignore it, or message back being an ass. But then....I get *this* little tidbit:
'If u cried I suck ur tears & keep them in my soul ....... ' followed shortly after by this:
'And if u were a tear in my little eyes i never try to cry as i would be fear to lose my Heaven. But if u cried i suck ur tears and keep them in my soul till i am alive'
Ok, what? First of all, stop sucking my tears. They're mine and you can't have them. Secondly, apparently I am Heaven, so screw all of you. I win. Lastly... Does this mean you are dead without my tears? If so, you have more serious problems than your punctuation, spelling, sentence structure, etc. I don't plan on letting you ever suck my tears, so you'll just have to stay dead.
The rest of this message included a 3 paragraph poem that I couldn't quite decipher, and then a joke at the end about maternity hospitals for men and someone's brother being pregnant. I read it 4 times and I still don't understand it. But! He ended it with 'hahahahaha' so it must have been hilarious. Must. Have. Been.
What the hell is wrong with people? I've never spoken to you before, tear sucker.
Ok, I rambled on enough for this one. Tomorrow, I will introduce you to the batshit crazy ex boyfriend. We'll call him...Charlie. Ok, so that's his real name but whatever.
Tis the season...
...to be eating a ton of Halloween crap.
I went a little overboard buying candy and Hallowe'en 'stuff' in general. Like...300 dollars overboard. Let's just say my kids, especially the boy, are a little overwhelmed with the heaping amounts of candy strewn about.
The cats are as well. All sorts of new stuff for them to drive me crazy about in an attempt to destroy. At midnight, I was up trying to hide things from the damn cats. Let's hope I can find it all again for the party.
The Witchdoctor and her fam are coming on Friday for the party and sleeping over. Way excited about this as we don't get to see each other very often at all. Also having the extra help will be nice too. Shit, the phone rang to remind me about my Dr's appointment tomorrow and now I forget what I was going to say.
I think I ate too many gummi bears. Yes, I know it's only 10:45 in the morning, don't judge me.
I went a little overboard buying candy and Hallowe'en 'stuff' in general. Like...300 dollars overboard. Let's just say my kids, especially the boy, are a little overwhelmed with the heaping amounts of candy strewn about.
The cats are as well. All sorts of new stuff for them to drive me crazy about in an attempt to destroy. At midnight, I was up trying to hide things from the damn cats. Let's hope I can find it all again for the party.
The Witchdoctor and her fam are coming on Friday for the party and sleeping over. Way excited about this as we don't get to see each other very often at all. Also having the extra help will be nice too. Shit, the phone rang to remind me about my Dr's appointment tomorrow and now I forget what I was going to say.
I think I ate too many gummi bears. Yes, I know it's only 10:45 in the morning, don't judge me.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Why hello...
So. Here I am, I made it, and I'm sure you're all overjoyed. 'All' being the 0 people I have on here so far.
I was discussing blogs with The Witchdoctor (the bestie) and I decided I should start up again.
You're welcome.
Things going on right now: In a moment of insanity, I came to the conclusion that throwing a Halloween party for the kids would be the 'best idea ever'. I should have realized that things could only go downhill after I couldn't find any invitations so spent 4 hours making some. I'm just now starting to realize what I have to actually do for this party. Food, drinks, decorations, costumes, prizes, goody bags. So, I figured I'd bake/make some things for the party. Yeah, I burned pre-made cookies in the oven last night...this should turn out wonderfully.
I'm sure I'm missing something important and half the kids are going to leave in tears. Happy Halloween!
I leave you with this: http://youmakemetouchyourhandsforstupidreasons.ytmnd.com/
Anything you may be drinking that comes out of your nose, I cannot be held responsible for. If you pee, also not my fault.
I was discussing blogs with The Witchdoctor (the bestie) and I decided I should start up again.
You're welcome.
Things going on right now: In a moment of insanity, I came to the conclusion that throwing a Halloween party for the kids would be the 'best idea ever'. I should have realized that things could only go downhill after I couldn't find any invitations so spent 4 hours making some. I'm just now starting to realize what I have to actually do for this party. Food, drinks, decorations, costumes, prizes, goody bags. So, I figured I'd bake/make some things for the party. Yeah, I burned pre-made cookies in the oven last night...this should turn out wonderfully.
I'm sure I'm missing something important and half the kids are going to leave in tears. Happy Halloween!
I leave you with this: http://youmakemetouchyourhandsforstupidreasons.ytmnd.com/
Anything you may be drinking that comes out of your nose, I cannot be held responsible for. If you pee, also not my fault.
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