Following myself

I somehow managed to 'follow' myself.  How lame is that?  Oh, I wonder who's following this person?  Herself.   I did manage to fix it but still...I was like oh my god, I have to fix this before someone actually sees it.

Hysterical: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/interview_questions?f=2

I almost peed a little.  I found this a few days ago but apparently forgot to actually hit 'publish', so it was here waiting for me today. 

Speaking of peeing a little.  I had to go for an ultrasound today.  Those of us that have been pregnant have been there.  Drink 8574398 glasses of water and DO NOT GO TO THE BATHROOM.  I realized today, it's much easier having to do that when there isn't a 5 pound baby dancing around on your bladder. 

So, I was supposed to stop drinking water at 11:30 this morning because my appointment was at 12:30.  I was supposed to drink at least 30 ounces of water.  I got out of the shower at 11:23.  This gave me 7 minutes to chug as much water as I could possibly stand.  By 11:30 I had managed to get down half a bottle (like a small pop sized bottle). So I decided to just keep drinking until I got to the hospital.  Figure it's all going to make it to my bladder shortly anyway, so why not. 

Get to the hospital and get called in pretty well immediately which was nice.  Ultrasound technician points me to a room where I'm supposed to take off 'everything from the waist down'  Alright, well I was kind of expecting that one, but then she says 'Oh!  You can keep your socks on!'  Yes, I'm going to be completely naked from the waist down but I'm worried about my feet.  Not so much.  So I cram myself into this 'room' to strip, which is so small that when I turn around from closing the curtain, I manage to jam my knees against a chair that they have thoughtfully provided in this crawlspace.  The chair took up over half of this 'room'.  Let me tell you, I performed some pretty fancy maneuvers getting undressed in there.  So I make it out there, with my ass hanging out of my lovely hospital issued robe and climb up onto the bed. 

So she's chatting with me and talking about what she'll be doing, seemed standard to me, I've had a few of these before with the kids.  Then she drops the bombshell on me.  She tells me the ultrasound will be done in 2 parts.  Hmm ok.  The first part the normal way, laying there and ready to burst, and then she starts to say 'then we'll let you go to the bathroom to empty your bladder....' and I fully expect her to follow that with 'and then we'll do this exact same thing again'  But no.  She says, then we'll do an internal ultrasound.  Sorry, a what now?

I immediately went into 'worst-case-scenario-humanly-possible' mode.  Because I know where my ovaries are.  They're inside.  INSIDE.  So, I'm trying to decide how much this is going to hurt and how big this thing is that they're planning on 'inserting'.  So I casually ask 'So um...what's the pain factor?'  And she says 'Oh, well most people are uncomfortable, sure.'  You don't say.  'But most people get through it without any kind of pain'  MOST people.  Well that doesn'tt make me feel that much better.  So she finishes up with the normal ultrasound, gets me another gown because the bathroom isn't even in that room, its out in the main hospital hallway, and tells me to go to the bathroom, which I was more than ready to do.  I thought about making a run for it right then and there but my purse was in the room with her.  Damn. 

I took my time.  I stalled as long as I possibly could and then went sulking back in there.  She had put a huge cushion under the sheet on the table in order to 'tilt my pelvis up'.   Awesome, I feel better already. 

So, when most people are undergoing something they're scared of, they don't want to see the instruments being used.  Whether it's at the dentist, the eye Dr, whatever.  Me? I apparently need to torture myself.  I *asked* to see what the hell she was going to be using for this.  Bad idea.  This thing looked like it was a foot and a half long.  She's explaining to me that not all of it is used, obviously, but I was beyond hearing at that point.

Anyway.  It wasn't so bad.  Definitely not comfortable, but not really painful.  Let's just say I was happy it was over and ran into the little not-a-room to get dressed again. Happy Valentine's Day to me.